Easy Music for Difficult Ears

Hi everyone,
It’s around that time that I vent my spleen and rant like a proper good’un. I found out this morning that truly wonderful Aslan (see… I can do sarcasm too, y’know…) have won the award for “Best Irish Band” at the Meteor Awards

This moment in life is normally referred to as the “Oh dear God….” incident and thus when the world stops laughing out loud, we’ll chuckle to ourselves and wonder quietly what the joke actually was.
Have we scratched that uncomfortable itch yet..? It got me thinking though. There is something seriously wrong here if there is an act with one hit from 17 years ago (yes, seventeen) can pick up an award like this.
Prestigious = bollocks (it’s in the dictionary, look it up!!)

So, what “norm” audience is this ceremony actually catered to? A quick look through both the nominees and the eventual winners says a lot. Apart from Aslan, the winners include Ray Foley (Best DJ, Today FM), Westlife (Best Irish Pop Act) and the Blizzards (Best Irish Live Performance). Even the shit-stained Paddy Casey won the Best Irish Album award (somehow beating Cathy Davey).
For the moment though, let’s forget Westlife, that Casey chap and the Blizzards and concentrate momentarily on the sprinkling fountain of piss that is Ray Foley. I don’t know the chap, I’ve never met him, but Ray Foley is the person who made me switch off Today FM permanently. I mentioned my irritation with “wacky DJ’s” on Thrill Pier’s “20 Ways to Vastly Improve Phantom FM” bit a couple of weeks back and that same feeling of irritation rings true here – it’s like listening to a bad rash at work.
I still believe that there is something just wrong about mad, wacky DJ syndrome (probably something to do with the fact that they’re often the least irrational people you’ll ever meet) – it often comes across as incredibly forced and feels like a style something buried well and truly in the past. It’s background noise for those who hate their jobs or who are severely lacking in personality.
Am I clear in my beliefs today… or have I missed the point..? Is this just radio for the working generation – those who are maybe half (or one-quarter) switched on?
(Feel free to disagree with me at a high volume).

There were five International awards that are simply not even worth worrying about, for the simple reason that “International” awards at these kinds of ceremonies are purely for attaching a level of false worth and are usually filled with either obvious acts (Radiohead and Arcade Fire amongst others) or pure tabloid fodder (Amy Winehouse, Kylie, etc…).
I also find that “Best Live Performance Awards” are about as meaningful as the washing detergent that makes of most of Westlife’s lyrics – if folk go to a show and really enjoy a band, the chances are they might remember it and possibly venture to a future show. Doubtful that an award is necessary though….
Jesus, like… Did Bruce Springsteen even know he was up for an award at this bloody thing?? Good God, would any international artist worth their salt give two-fucking-shits if they won or lost?!? Unfortunately (or thankfully) I wasn’t there, but I would love to know who collected the award for the international acts – to be honest I can only assume it was a connected individual (record label associate, one of a management team, etc…) that picked it up.

I will take one positive note from the Meteor’s though – the Hope for 2008 Award went to Kells Indie/Pop act Ham Sandwich. Normally these things only serve to add mountains of pressure on a young bands’ shoulders, but with their long awaited debut album out a couple of days ago I hope it doesn’t become a burden. I wish them well. It’s not out over here yet, but I’ll pick it up when it does arrive.

I suppose at the end of the day, the question that I’m really asking is; “who is this ceremony for?” I can understand the Irish Blog awards, which is generally voted for by readers and other bloggers (which has the added kudos of a door fee that goes to charity). I can also get the Choice Music Awards which is representative a specific body of work, but the point of the Meteor Awards totally escapes me now. As has been referred on a couple of sites, it is most definitely an example of a bad industry back-slapping exercise… friends amongst friends telling each other how great every one is and how the world is a better place for it.
…and let’s be honest, if Aslan can win the “Best Irish Band” award, the Irish music industry truly is fucked… but I guess you had to be there.

Current listening:
The Buzzcocks “Singles, Going Steady”

Time for bed now,
Leigh